I am so happy with my new prescription of Wellbutrin, to go with my Haldol! Today I felt like I used to feel before I had schizophrenia! I have been longing for a normal day for 16 years, and I finally had one! I am so happy! I had intrusive thoughts, voices and hallucinations yesterday for several hours, so I wasn't expecting to feel so good today. But it was really wonderful! I have been taking better care of myself generally - food, hygiene, presentation - since I started therapy last year. Today, I put on my grandmother's scarf, my cardigan, and put my hair up and I felt like the old me. I haven't had any positive symptoms today, or negative symptoms. I could just hug someone! It feels great! I know I will still have off days, but I finally made it back, if just for a day. Maybe this is the event I have been waiting for - the one I have written about in previous posts... The Wellbutrin is also helping me quit smoking, which I am really happy about. I started smoking in I998, just before I was diagnosed. I was ill and nervous and cigarettes seemed to calm me down. I smoked on and off the next 16 years. But 5 years ago I had a really strong urge to smoke and I have been smoking half a pack a day since then. I quit on September 1 of this year... I struggled on the Haldol for 5 years and then I started remembering that I was on Wellbutrin in Los Angeles for a year or two, before I was diagnosed. I remember it being quite pleasant, made me feel happy and in control. So I mentioned it to my psychiatrist. She agreed to try it for me, with the warning that it would counteract the Haldol, causing more positive symptoms. Well, I have had a bit of that to cope with, to be perfectly honest... but today was different. I really feel happy and hopeful. I know that I will still have my bad days, but just for a relief, what about days like today?
1 Comment
Samantha
10/13/2014 08:41:26 am
I hope today is as good as yesterday, and with many more to come!
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