Foggy morning. I'm a little worn out. I was pressed hard by someone in a Facebook discussion of a highly controversial nature last night, regarding the stated political views of a missionary relative. I was walking a tightrope and it took everything I had to be able to state my point of view while staying, well, sane actually. We eventually, after several hours, reached an understanding, even a delicate agreement, but it was really challenging. I'm not that sharp with schizophrenia and medication, and I had to keep googling around checking facts and definitions. I stood my ground, But I went through nearly a pack of cigarettes and paced madly. I think engaging in these debates is ultimately good for me, but I spend a hell of a lot of time rereading what I write, just to check my general logic and condition. I was tiptoeing around the issue, trying not to let it explode into a full on pro-life versus pro-choice argument. I am pro-choice, but I think pro-lifers make a good point. So we managed to keep to the subject of gun control. This missionary relative is very conservative, and has posted pro-gun and anti-welfare posts recently. As my mother, age 79, contributes to his organization out of her social security check, I think those on tax-free handouts should not cast stones at those receiving government benefits. I stopped short of actually pointing this out to him. I don't want to speak out of turn on behalf of my mother, who has told me in confidence that she can't afford to donate more to his cause and is tired of the monthly begging letters. As a result of all this, I am very tired and actually a little sad and quiet of mind. The upcoming election is wearing me out, but I feel it's important to state my views when I can. I am one of the vulnerable, being disabled with schizophrenia, and it doesn't even bother me the hysteria around this disease. When a schizo goes nuts and kills some people, I don't feel it's appropriate to state the case for the majority of non-violent schizophrenics when people are grieving and shocked. That, to me, would be selfish. And I feel that Second Amendment advocates are rude to bang a gong for guns at such a delicate time, too, which they invariably and en masse do, and they blame the mentally ill, who are more likely to harm themselves than anyone else. I'm an Army brat, and a lot of my Facebook friends are veterans and quite conservative, unlike me. So I'm kind of getting a lot of flak in my face every day, which I guess can't be helped. I mean, I think the gun, the potential of it, the purpose of its invention, is attractive to people who are on the spectrum, but perhaps not diagnosed. I think the gun is a public health issue and not just a problem for a few mentally ill people. I don't know anybody that I would feel comfortable being around while they are carrying a gun, even healthy people that I like and otherwise trust and enjoy.
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