Well, the heat of summer is bearing down and I haven't kept up my exercise routine... My idea was to walk twice a day for 30 minutes, but two days ago it was 98 degrees outside and my will disappeared. My dad just moved to a new apartment complex with a gym and a pool and he said management gave their permission for me to work out there. This I will do as soon as it is set up. Both my md and my psychiatrist have recommended exercise and though I lost ten pounds last year in the autumn, I have gained it back over the winter. I really need to lose about 50 pounds, maybe more, but I'm struggling with a heavy sleep schedule due to my Haldol. I don't eat too much, I just don't exercise enough. Last year I lost the weight by drastically cutting my caloric intake but I just don't have the willpower to keep that up. I was tired of feeling hungry and tired... In my youth, in London, I was exercising like crazy and in California I lost weight by eating salads and sushi. But I'm on a poor man's budget now in North Carolina and I just can't seem to find a groove... I turn 50 in August and am feeling the age a bit, aches and pains, but I think this is largely due to my lack of exercise. It's so easy to just sit at the computer all day or pick up a book in the air conditioning. I would like to lose the weight, but I need to find a workout that will take me into the next ten years with little resistance. I need a lifestyle makeover, is what I really need. I need to work out a diet and exercise plan that fits into my day and replaces my sleeping and smoking routine. I can barely remember what it was like to feel fit and happy with myself. Since I spend so much time alone, I have let little self care rituals fall by the wayside. So before I melt into August and my birthday, I have to make some effort to change my life for my health. Most schizophrenics know what I'm talking about, weight gain due to medication, lack of motivation, lack of self care... And, as my mom says, "It ain't easy getting old and peculiar". Yes, getting older is not for the faint of heart.
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