Well, it has been two days since my great day and the anxiety and other symptoms are back... But I am still encouraged. If I can have that one day, maybe I will have more, if I stay carefully to my regime. It was really wonderful to feel warm, inquisitive and human again after so many years of absolute chaos. I am hopeful. I have been reading a book on meditation that my therapist recommended to me, called Wherever You Go, There You Are. I realized some moments reading it, one moment is that, being on medication, I don't have natural highs and lows, natural relaxation and tension, I don't even have the feeling of sleepiness, it's just 'bed time' and soon after I'm out. But I do have time to think. I think a lot about the past, the present and the future. I think about my marriage, I think about being schizophrenic, I think about treatment options, all sorts of things. So I do have time to meditate.
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June 2017
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