Brandt Lane, June 2016. I had an upper endoscopy yesterday, which was a scheduled procedure that had been weighing on my mind more than I thought. The doctors are trying to discover why I am suddenly severely anaemic. The clinic is very good and the test went well. I have some kind of hernia in my stomach or esophagus - can't remember - and a little bleeding, which is the type of thing they were looking for, although I don't know whether it is the answer to the problem. I was given a list of foods to avoid and a prescription for Prilosec lol. I mean, it is just so weird because in my life I have never had heartburn, and the food I eat is not spicy, fried or fatty. I eat lean cuisines and weight watchers frozen pastas every week, like clockwork. It's how I have lost about 40 pounds in the last year. I feel that if I have to take this embarrassing prescription, I should at least get to ride a purple jet ski through a ring of fire with a piece of fried chicken in my hand, like the guy on the Prilosec ad on tv, ha ha. I mean, really. So embarrassing.
The list of forbidden foods the nurse gave me includes caffeinated drinks, carbonated drinks, chocolate and cigarettes. Well, I'm sorry to my doctor but I cannot give any of these up. Every day I have about three large, icy Diet Dr Peppers, and two squares of chocolate as per my diet for losing weight. Also, I fill in with tea or coffee throughout the day. It is simply not possible for me to give these up right now. The only thing I will consider is cutting back on cigarettes, which is clearly called for, hernia or not. But I will only start cutting down, not entirely quitting, just yet. So now that that procedure is behind me, I can think about other things, like finally hanging my paintings on my freshly painted walls. I'm looking forward to this and when it's done, I can paint more. I think I will hang them this afternoon. Then I will do some more housecleaning on Thursday and Friday and Saturday, and have my neighbor over for coffee on Sunday, a goal I have mentioned in previous posts. She has asked to see my paintings. I have only had a guest in the house a couple of times in 14 years, and then just for a cup of coffee in the kitchen, all the while hoping they wouldn't ask about the damage I had done to the walls, which I just only last week have painted. It's hard having guests, because my brother - my housemate - is also schizophrenic and has refused his meds. He is highly paranoid about having anyone in the house and is very disruptive of even my phone calls. So I have to kind of cross my fingers that any visit will go smoothly. Still, I will make this happen somehow. I'm excited. I even have new coffee cups and on Friday, I will buy some Milano cookies too for her. Should be nice. I am still working on my mind, my idea of my mind. I read that the quality of the mind is like water, and that as such, it will naturally have waves. This is interesting to me and quite calming - I don't have to believe that I'm being spoken to by other, unseen "people" or devils with my voices, when they happen. I can just think of them as waves. On that theme, I have been watching surf movies on youtube. They are super entertaining and give a good feeling generally. I'm trying to get some kind of inspiration for dealing with the waves of my mind by watching them. Maybe it's a bit romantic of me, but I'll try it anyway. In a way, with eleven hospitalisations, it's what I have been doing all along.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Archives
June 2017
|